When we pick someone to help us it’s important that this person is a good match.
So who am I?
I am 45. I live in the countryside with my partner and our 3 kids, 9 year old twins and an 11 year old.
I like board games, my garden, flying kites, watching the birds from my veranda, cats (I save the birds from them, don’t worry), that my house is pretty and tidy because that brings me comfort. I like doing creative things but favour wet plate collodion (a photographic process from 1851). I am a warrior with a profound need for justice.
I was bullied in school, both in primary and secondary school. At the time nobody noticed, we didn’t talk about that then like we do now.
In my immediate family I had two people with narcissistic personality disorder and I took forever to file a complaint for indecent assault with aggravating circumstances against a 3rd member of my family (those are the proper legal terms for Belgium)
I decided it was ok to shut the door on that side of my family. When you do that you realise you don’t know who you are without those people, you don’t know what your needs are and you don’t know how to answer them anyway since you never had the right to do so beforehand. You have to build yourself from scratch.
I spent a decade in a job I really loved. I’d have stayed there until retirement but a new manager, who also turned out to be a narcissist, made the best of a burnout to get rid of me because I was independent, efficient, passionate.
I decided to set up my own business. I crossed paths with yet another narcissist. Then I was manipulated into signing a contract with a big multimedia business that turned my work days into a living hell. I burn out a second time. They stole my passion, the pleasure I found in my work and I ended up closing and ended up going to court. (6 years later we’re still there. “we” is me and +-500 other people)
The tools I bring to you are those I learned to pick myself up once and for all. I couldn’t find the help I needed when I needed it so I’m choosing to share what I know now, the tools that helped me manage my home, my relationship with the kids, learn to recognise my needs and respond to them, change those behaviours that attracted the kind of person who needs to abuse someone else to feel worthy.
I don’t like the turn the world is taking by encouraging individualism, money, power, me before others, stepping on the weaker to get ahead faster.
We are all linked, everything we do impacts someone else even if we don’t see it. This is my work because my sense of justice and my warrior side push me to try and counteract what makes me feel bad about the world, to bring you the help I didn’t have, to walk you towards changing what makes you unhappy and to sow the seeds of well-being.
Isabel Leeson, April 2021
Positive change leader
Professional coach in Humanist NLP